What’s it like to date a manic pixie dream girl from your perspective?

From experience: extremely draining. Such things are not meant to last, because she's not real, she's a persona which will eventually collapse and what you're left with is some kind of succubus.

Your question got me curious, so I did some Googling on the origin of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl trope. While a lot of people apply the term to any beautiful, quirky chick, the original intent was to expose the inherent sexism that's baked into the archetype.

The defining characteristic of the MPDG is that she doesn't exist for any purpose other than to develop the character of the male protagonist. She doesn't have any motivations of her own, unless they involve--you guessed it--helping the male protagonist. With that in mind, if you were dating an MPDG, that probably says a lot more about you than it does about her. While it's possible that she truly was an empty vessel, it's much more likely that she did have motivations of her own, but they just weren't important enough to you for you to have noticed them.

And with that in mind, I'll say that yes, there were two girls from my past who fit the MPDG trope, from my perspective. Dating them was exciting. I loved the attention that I got for dating a hot chick, and they taught me that it's okay and lots of fun to break the rules! But looking back, I really have no idea about them or what they wanted out of our relationship, out of life, out of anything. I just knew I liked what they did to me and how they acted on me, never mind their needs. And I'm a little ashamed of that.

Most are unstable nutcases hiding from something. The advantage is the sex is normally great. The disadvantage is they go from loving you to hating you very quickly.

People with this sort of persona are sort of exhausting...Like, a very fun weeklong fling but just draining over the long term.

The fictional characters are inspired by a very real personality type, a manifestation of the attraction style known as "Preoccupied" or "Anxious Attachment" and characterized by a high degree of anxiety or self-doubt, combined with a preoccupation with close attachment. This combination can cause the person to attempt to suppress their own preferences to become what they believe their partner wants.This may appear as either a projection of stability and nurturing, or as a projection of impulsiveness and novelty-seeking.

An alternatively exhilarating and terrifying ride on a rollercoaster that will eventually jump its tracks.

Sex is incredible. Everything else is hell.

I’m not a big guy in the sack, perfectly average, but I’ve always found pixies are too small to have sex with. And it might be a cliche, but I’m not about all that dust.

terrible - for the men reading this please be careful. way too many of them been trouble

Sex has always been awesome, but all of them have been incredibly unstable mentally. The closest comparison would be a borderline personality disorder. I mean one moment everything can be awesome, the next a random impulse can flip everything on it's face. You feel like you truly never know them since they probably don't even know themselves. It's truly draining emotionally.

Kinda, but it was a fantasy created in my head from watching too many movies and being on the internet too damn much.

She had everything I ever wanted (so I thought) except for the whole "actually being into me" thing, so I forced it.

Women who played the role of Manic Pixie Dream Girl in a relationship: how did it feel? How did it end?

I guess it goes without saying that there isn't exactly a real life model for this, but I feel like I played this role a bit in my last relationship. In many ways it felt great. I felt like I was teaching my partner to play for the first time in his life. He has clinical depression, and while he has it under control in his life it does impose an inertia that makes it hard for him to be impulsive or to try new things. It was rewarding feeling like my presence was actually improving things for him somehow. All the firsts we had together made things that had been fairly mundane for me exciting again. Spontaneous camping or road trips, playful sexuality, getting lost trying to watch the Perseids.. It all suddenly meant more to me because it meant so much to him.

The biggest thing that made it fulfill that fantasy was him moving across the country (to a city he never would have considered otherwise) for me after I impulsively accepted a job offer in another state. He'd wanted to go to the west coast anyway, and his career is now moving forward really well. I didn't do anything to help him with that, just provided some inspiration for him to change. Also felt really nice.

BUT. This is real life and I didn't get to just make things better and fade out. Mania is more often than not accompanied by depression, which he had to deal with. He also was young and in love and wanted a stable, long term, and monogamous relationship with me. I broke his heart by not being able to be that person to him. He realized he couldn't handle the dynamic and ended it.

Did not feel used, but that's probably because of the things that made the real life experience different from the trope. Like any decent relationship, there was a give and take. He didn't just ride my highs, he helped me through some of my lows.

IMO it's less about saving them from depression and more about being a vibrant, but somewhat two-dimensional, enigma that coaxes them into a more adventurous life.

I think I've done this. I didn't feel used, I wasn't trying to be a MPDG, it just describes the way I went about relationships and friendships at a certain point in my life. One deteriorated quickly in a rather spectacular way that ended with me being cheated on. One was a long relationship with an odd end. But really, this role best describes interactions I had with people I didn't date (but who were romantically interested in me). Some I'm still friends with, some I ghosted, some moved away. The most exciting involved someone I asked to prom throwing red koolaid on my Valentine's Day date many years later.

I sometimes think my boyfriend wishes I was more like this. We both have mild depression and he's said that he wishes he was with someone who could pull him out of his depressive moods. I don't think he actually wants a full-on MPDG though, as no real person really fulfills that trope.

I was kind of this to a guy but instead of me "disappearing once my work was done" he ghosted me after 3 months of a pretty involved relationship.

So, it's not so romantic.

Side note: he's still pretty sad and fucked up, so...

It was flattering for a little while (I was young) until it just became exhausting. It ended with me being tired of doing all the work in the relationship and feeling like I had to be "always on" and like he didn't actually like me for who I was. All of which was true.

I feel like I am always playing this character. I morph myself into this easy going, silly little girl in relationships, probably due to my love for all things hipster and indie during my teenage years. I watched Breakfast at Tiffany's and wanted to be Holly Golightly so badly. In my latest two relationships this character I put on was exhausting. I pretended like I was so carefree and just brushed off red flags. Things like one of my partners inability to grow up and get a real job, or to even keep his room clean for that matter. I would hide my negative emotions but there always reached a breaking point where the "real me" would come out and my partners couldn't handle it. It really isn't healthy to fake a personality in a relatinship because then you can never feel like yourself. I broke up with my most recent partner because I sensed myself putting on this MPDG facade again and realized that I needed to just be alone to get to know myself and develop a genuine personality. I have BPD and I think that plays a huge factor in it. People with borderline have little to no sense of identity and often latch on to someone elses personality or take on the personality of people they admire.

My first boyfriend had a crush on me in HS for years before we ever spoke.

I remember hearing a lot of "I thought you'd be cool with it!" While we were dating. At one point I just said "I'm sorry this isn't what you'd thought dating your "dream girl" would be like, but it's what dating me is like! Do you even know me???"

Like out of YA book. Cringe af but...

The worst part is that it actually was a sincere and pivital moment in my life. Knowing someones idea of what they wanted me to be could so deeply block them from seeing who I was, after dating for over a year.

I was with a guy for 2 years. He liked me more than i liked him, and 100 percent turned into this archetype. (The glitter might be arguable) anyway, he thought I could make him happy. I saved him from depression, he was living with his family and was 28, never lived alone... I moved in with him to his first apartment. Encouraged him to get a higher wage job, and pursue his hobbies. Helped pay off his car. To be honest I used him to help support me while I got back on my feet after moving cross country. Once he proposed to me I broke up with him. It was really shitty and i hated that i did it, but I turned his life around, and ran off. I miss his sweet, loving family more than him. We didn't have a lot in common, and i knew I had to leave before I getting tied up, etc. It worked out in the end but emotionally really difficult.

Been there, done that. To be clear, I wasnt the one being used, I was actually using them. I would be dating several guys at once and it was exhilirating to sweep in, be interesting/sexy/cool/fun/whimsical and then leave before the sun came up and only call or come around when I wanted to. I was young and only interested in having fun for myself. I loved the way they looked at me as if i was some sort of goddess even though I knew I was presenting a persona that cant be sustained in a real, long term relationship. I broke a few hearts doing it, but it was fun for a short time.

This has happened to me a few times, and it feels pretty shitty. No one is ever going to tell you they want you to “fix” them or make them happy, but they are pretty good at letting you know when you aren’t enough. It’s always about how the other is feeling, and using you as their emotional dumping ground, but if you need them to listen it will not happen. If they do put on the act and pretend they care enough to listen, it will be turned around so you are listening to them and their issues very quickly. It’s emotionally draining. I felt like I wasn’t enough, but I felt like I couldn’t bring up any issues with the relationship without hurting them. If I did mention that I was upset about something or didn’t think it was appropriate to tell them they aren’t in the wrong or needed to make an effort to change things on their own, I was this awful person who didn’t really care, or wanted to hurt them. It’s toxic and it’s exhausting. It puts a damper on future relationships. I don’t want to date or get attached to people anymore in a romantic way. I’ve been threatened with suicide, being told that if he doesn’t manage to stay clean it’s because I wasn’t there to help him, and told if I leave that he won’t have anyone or be happy. It’s not about your happiness, it’s about theirs.

I'd say in all the relationships I've had where I "disappeared" after a few months, that guy was projecting some weird fantasy of his own onto my body and interpreting everything I say and do through that filter. It's super uncomfortable when other people tell you what kind of person you are when they are wrong, even more so if they're utterly smitten with their idea of you.

I never thought of it as being used at all. It's always been me doing the disappearing act in those relationships - I've never been been dumped. I've simply decided against continuing to spend time with a guy because it's too much work.

I like to think I left them all better off than when I found them.